2014-12-31 Update and Happy New Year!

By DebCNY • 2014/12/31

Hi everyone…  I haven’t been posting much – so wanted to take this opportunity to give you all a lil update…   I’ve been back to work for a while now and that’s going well.  My family keeps me busy too… but,  I still think frequently of everyone suffering from mesh complications, and this terrible mesh mess.  Women keep stumbling upon my blog, or my Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/MeshMeNot), and they are usually in pain and desperate for help.  I listen, try to answer their questions,  and point them towards other resources and support groups depending on what their situation is –  but there are never any easy answers.

I do have a bit of “survivor’s guilt”.  It’s hard sometimes to say how well I’m doing, when so many others are not.  I wish there were more “success stories”.  I do consider myself a survivor, and a success story, when it comes to mesh.  No, I’m not 100% better, but I am doing pretty good all things considered.  This is the first New Year’s eve in a few years where I do NOT have any upcoming surgeries planned for the new year.   Feels good.  Feels damn good.  Last Feb, I had a my hip replacement. The year before that, I had full mesh removal at UCLA with Dr. Raz (my hero).  Honestly, the mesh removal was harder than the hip replacement – but it was so worth it.  I truly feel like if I hadn’t gone to Dr. Raz for full mesh removal, that any other attempts at healing, especially the hip surgery never would have worked. It’s been 11 months since my last surgery, and no, I am not where I want to be physically.  I am still limping (just found out I have bone spurs now too.  ugh).  I’m still doing physical therapy and  trying to regain full strength after limping and using crutch for so long… as well as pelvic floor therapy.  I have pain..  with every step.  I limp a little and have to concentrate on how to walk….  – BUT, it’s not like before.  Now, I am able to walk without a crutch/cane. I am off pain meds.  I am working. I am able to go to my kids sporting events again, college visits, and all kinds of things I simply couldn’t do the last few years.

I am very fortunate, I know that.  I know that so many are not so lucky, and are in constant various degrees of main, have been for years, and have no end in sight.  I know.  And, my heart breaks for you all.  I do what I can to try to warn and help people.  I will keep trying.   And, I count my blessings daily – Many of my “online” friends I’ve met because of mesh are among those that I count my lucky stars for.

So, thank you…  I hope those with mesh, can find a way to get help & get their mesh REMOVED by an expert.  I hope those WITHOUT mesh, find this blog or others like it BEFORE they get mesh, and choose NOT to get mesh.   Ultimately, I wish the mesh manufacturers would STOP selling mesh all together (I can dream).   And, I really do hope everyone has a less painful 2015.

~ Deb

Tagged as: guilt, hope, My Updates, Raz, success, survivors guilt

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